This birth story is so beautiful and empowering that I wanted the mother’s own thoughts and feelings to accompany it. Read about Cynthia and Aidyn’s homebirth experience, and then watch their slideshow below.
“There are so many layers to our birth story, it’s hard to know where to begin. The big (BIG) picture of my complete birth journey? It involves coming to terms with my sexuality and what that meant for conceiving and realizing my dream to be a mother (accepting that I’m gay and that conceiving was going to be much more complex). My story also involves the end of my relationship when I was five months pregnant and having to return to a home that questioned not only my values for birthing and mothering, but my very identity.
The (simpler) DETAILS? Aidyn was conceived with the help of an anonymous donor from a sperm bank. When I was 5 months pregnant, my partner ended our relationship –at which point I returned home to Texas to live with my parents. Though supportive in other ways, they did not support my plans for a home birth so I had to let go of my original birth plan. I then found a home-birth midwife with an actual home clinic—which provided me with the prenatal care I wanted AND a sweet little home (my dream home, actually) to birth in. Though I had hoped to find a friends home to birth in (so I could labor with friend support and not have to drive to and from the clinic), Michele’s clinic ended up being my best option. On the day of Aidyn’s birth, I was lovingly supported by two childhood friends -both with unique experiences and expertise with childbirth (one a physician and the other a doula and nursing student). Though I had to process a wide gamut of emotions during my pregnancy, including uncertainty (as well as the ‘normal’ birth fears I had)… my body and my baby knew exactly what to do (and quickly!). When I look at our beautiful pictures, I can feel how I felt that day and it was nothing less than triumphant– the most poignant moment being when she opened her eyes..they were the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life. It brings tears to my eyes to remember that moment. I was so in love and elated (and relieved by an easy, fast delivery)!
How have I made MEANING of it all? – Aidyn’s birth (and mine as a mother) is about acceptance. Accepting who I am, allowing its expression, and letting go of what I cannot change. In order to conceive and ultimately birth Aidyn, I had to first allow myself to be vulnerable. Once I did, I got the world 🙂 — she just brought a few necessary endings first! (Up until this point, I had led a very controlled existence…not anywhere near the sort of life capable of dealing with the beautiful chaos of true mothering!)
Aside from becoming Aidyn’s mother and the strong bond we share as a result of doing it ‘alone’—the best part of all of this is my connections with friends and family are stronger then ever before…when my relationship ended in January, my friends and family from California, Colorado, New Mexico and Texas rallied behind us — loving, supporting and providing for Aidyn’s arrival. Despite not having lived in Texas for exactly 10 years, I came home to ‘my tribe’ — friends who became the mothers I needed to support me in my journey to motherhood! Though it hasn’t been easy, it’s good to be HOME. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather raise my girl.”
It was an honor to be your birth photographer, Cynthia, and to watch this supportive circle of women come together to lift you up!
